Military Aircraft Registration Card...

McDonnell Douglas

AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES

Important! Important! Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. __Mr. __Mrs. __Ms. __Miss __Lt. __Gen. __Comrade __Classified __Other

First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________

Latitude________________________Longitude__________________________________

Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

__F-14 Tomcat __F-15 Eagle __F-16 Falcon __F-117A Stealth __Classified

3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

4. Serial Number____________________

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

__Received as Gift/Aid Package
__Catalog Showroom
__Sleazy Arms Broker
__Mail Order
__Discount Store
__Government Surplus
__Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

__Heard loud noise, looked up
__Store Display
__Espionage
__Recommended by friend/relative/ally
__Political lobbying by Manufacturer
__Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

__Style/Appearance
__Kickback/Bribe
__Recommended by salesperson
__Speed/Maneuverability
__Comfort/Convenience
__McDonnell Douglas Reputation
__Advanced Weapons Systems
__Price/Value
__Back-Room Politics
__Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

__North America
__Central/South America
__Aircraft Carrier
__Europe
__Middle East
__Africa
__Asia/Far East
__Misc. Third-World Countries
__Classified

9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

Product                                       Own                               Intend to purchase

Color TV
VCR
ICBM
Hunter-Killer Satellite
CD Player
Air-to-Air Missiles
Space Shuttle
Home Computer
Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

__Communist/Socialist
__Terrorist
__Crazed (Islamic)
__Crazed (Other)
__Neutral
__Democratic
__Dictatorship
__Corrupt (Latin American)
__Corrupt (Other)
__Primitive/Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

__Cash
__Suitcases of Cocaine
__Oil Revenues
__Deficit Spending
__Personal Check
__Credit Card
__Ransom Money
__Traveler's Check

12. Occupation You Your Spouse

Homemaker  __
Sales/Marketing__
Revolutionary__
Clerical__
Mercenary__
Tyrant__
Middle Management__
Eccentric Billionaire__
Defense Minister/General__
Retired__
Student__

13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

Activity                       Interest You              Your Spouse

Golf
Boating/Sailing
Sabotage
Running/Jogging
Propaganda/Disinformation
Destabilizing/Overthrow
Default on Loans
Gardening
Crafts
Black Market/Smuggling
Collectibles/Collections
Watching Sports on TV
Wines
Interrogation/Torture
Household Pets
Crushing Rebellions
Espionage/Reconnaissance
Fashion Clothing
Border Disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500



This item was apparently posted on the company site until management spotted it!
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